In Response to the Thump’s Being a DJ’s Girlfriend Sucks Article…

Thumb LogoThanks Thump for at least acknowledging that DJ girlfriends exist. As someone who has been a DJ’s girlfriend for 6 years, it’s easy to be in the shadow of your partner’s lime light. For years I have lol’d with other DJ girlfriends about how we’re perceived as nothing more than their insignificant partners. But, we’re not one hit wonders. We’re in for the long haul (and have done much time already), and I can admit (as I’m sure they will too) that there are many perks to dating a DJ. Let me address some of your listed items:

First of all, the statement, “It would be nice to be the chosen one, standing next to him (or her) behind the turntables while he’s satisfying the willing crowd…” No. If you EVER see a girlfriend in a DJ box (and it’s not new year’s, the DJ’s birthday or said girlfriend is passed out sleeping) then help that DJ break up. People didn’t come to the club to watch your romance. They came for the music. Sis.

“While other couples spend their nights snuggling on the couch, meeting friends at a bar or engaging in some sexy time, you have to spend them at a variety of clubs. You will stand around, feeling kinda useless as he sets up his equipment…and—worst of all—underdressed.” What planet are you on? Or is your DJ partner a one horse town DJ? There’s plenty of couch snuggling, bar meeting and sexy time. DJ’s don’t work until 10pm every night. Setting up equipment? This hardly ever happens and when it does, it’s because we host the night and it’s business. Underdressed? One of the best parts about dating a DJ is that you get to dress up, wear outrageous make up, try out a number of outfits. Underdressed? You must neva! (Tell me which DJ girlfriend isn’t at MCQP each year & I’ll show you a relationship on the rocks!)

If date night is “lingering around the DJ booth…fending off annoying people and their personal music requests” then you boyfriend’s just a douche bag and you should delete him anyway. And a DJ that takes requests? I repeat – delete (unless they’re a wedding DJ. In which case you shouldn’t be there anyway).

“You will also soon know the playlist by heart.” Wrong again. DJs are artists who play at a variety of types of gigs which require originality and creativity.  If your boyfriend is playing the same set over and over, again, you should delete him. Really.

You also speak of spending every weekend in clubs. Wrong again. He doesn’t come to work with me every day so why should I go to his gig every night? I have an awesome time seeing my girlfriends over weekends while he’s busy and if we feel like partying with him then we get free entry (to clubs and festivals), VIP space and, often, free booze PLUS a sober driver home! WIN!

I admit that not every gig is for me and there have been some long nights. Before Uber came along and allowed me to safely go home when I want because, and this doesn’t seem to be as obvious as it should be, we’re not actually physically attached to one another. I can come and go and do what I want – and I do. I LOVE to support his gigs after clients kill my joy at my 9-5. There’s nothing better than standing on a dancefloor (with or without friends), dancing off the stress, clearing your mind to the beats in a dark room. And knowing it’s your loved one making myself and so many others feel happy makes me very proud.

NiskeroneAnd while you address that DJ girlfriends even exist (thank you) don’t forget that we’re pretty damn interesting in our own right. Four of my favourite South African DJ girlfriends are Niskerone‘s, 500 Mills Counterstrike‘s, Dean Fuel‘s and Haezers‘ (and me haha). While Niskerone’s girlfriend is obviously the most gorgeous girl, so beautiful in fact she made it to Heidi Klum’s top 5 models left on Project Runway Season 7. (And she’s currently signed to one of the world biggest agencies: Next Management.) She always happens to be more beautiful on the inside, which blows my mind time and time again.COunterstrike500 Mills’ girlfriend is one of the most epic and talented Digital Designer and Visual Artist to come out of South Africa (go Cape Town whoo hoo) and her career in London has boomed since they moved there nearly 2 years ago. European artists and brands are looking to work with her in her own right thanks to the brilliant work she does, all thanks her to own late nights, cramped mouse hand and perfect deadline deliveries.

Dean FuelDean Fuel’s girlfriend is in partnership and has managed their PR company Hype Media for numerous years before becoming Africa’s regional manager for Uber. Strong and possibly the nicest person you may ever meet (apart from being totally beautiful), the soon Mrs Fuel is amazing and is a strong beaton of women in business in Cape Town.


HaezerAnd Haezer’s girlfriend – part creator and owner for Griet artist agency, who has brought out numerous international artists, hosted music festivals/events and has managed some of South Africa’s best artists, she doesn’t take bullshit from anyone. Not because she has a ferocious attitude, because she is the BAWS! You want something done and done well, she’s your woman.

While my partner has been in radio for 12 years, I also had an 8 year radio and voice over career – no thanks to him. ALL of us have carved our own paths before, during and after meeting our other halves. Do we do it entirely without them? No. They’re our creative partners, we bounce ideas off them, they support us, they encourage us and they understand our passions. Does that mean they do the work for us? Absolutely not. But, as the age old tale says, “Behind every man there’s a great woman.” I think these guys would agree. We have their back when the music’s turned off, the flight’s been delayed, the hotel rooms have cockroaches, when the public are rude, when the dance floor is empty – even on a good day.

So for the next girl who is eye f*cking the DJ, fantasing about hooking up – fair enough. That’s the entertainment industry. But remember, there’s a person with a family, and issues, and a private life when the lights come on. If you really like the person, make sure to be yourself – they meet tons of people and are looking for someone special and unique. If you’re generic, there’ll be 10 behind you the same.

As long as you love the person when the music is turned off, you will have the best life ever! I promise 🙂

PS I forgot to mention that every day when I get home and do not have the energy to start cleaning, Mr Love has already cleaned the apartment (afterall, he only got up 3 hours ago), he accepts all my blog deliveries and does tons of errands for me while I’m at work all day. I get in, we make dinner, do all that other stuff that couples do and then he goes to work and I go to bed (weeknights). Poifect! If you’re a DJ girlfriend, I’d love to hear from you. Comment below:

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  • Eri says:

    I just started dating a DJ, and everything you’ve said is so true. Of course I go out and support him. This last weekend was huge for him considering he headlined one night, and played at one of the biggest festivals in our area the next night. We got our time though. Of course he networks. There are cameras, flashing lights. I stay near the DJ booth, but if a friend of mine is on the dance floor, I’ll be with them. I don’t stand too close, I give him his room to play. Then once the show is done we GO HOME. We get snacks, cuddle, sleep. We are a real couple. It’s just a bonus him being so passionate about music.

    • YAY! You should go back to the original article and read how insulting some of the men on there were, YOH! They think we have no lives, with or without our partners! I hope you continue to enjoy your relationship and fill the world with love and music 🙂

      • Eri says:

        Oh my gosh, “wasting your weekend”. If you don’t want to be there, don’t be. I am always completely happy to be supportive. My friends like coming out with me. Other days I stay at home at watch TLC. She… needs to chill. Thank you for posting this reply article.

        • Totally stay at home and watch TLC as well LOL! xx

          • Eri says:

            I am actually quite literally in his bed, while he is at work, watching Say Yes to The Dress Atlanta xD
            Wow, look at that, I’m not nursing a hangover after a night of him
            I did over do it this weekend with the festivals and caught a cold, but it was absolutely worth it.

          • Mine just got back from his radio show while I stayed in and watched Great British Bake Off final!!! I’m going out tomorrow, chilling on NYE as he’s away playing and then partying on the night of the 1st when he’s back! Here’s to 2016 and us 😀

          • Eri says:

            Oh my gosh, yes!! Mine’s playing on the 1st too!! 😀 Absolutely to 2016 and us<3

  • Kilma says:

    Great post hun!

    Loved to hear what you had to say. I’m a lady dj myself and my partner is not all about that night life. Which is cool!

    I’ve dated the guys that used me for the free party, drank up my drink tab and embarrassed the shit out of me with the promoter. Needless to say those relationships were short lived. But it happens.

    In healthy relationships, we make it work. I like the little arrangement you and your hubby have. Its really sweet and you find time for each other. That’s so important.

    I wanted to mention that I found your article through the thump article and I was NOT impressed by that particular one. I was quite shocked that someone would openly state the things that were said in it because it most definitely came off like, “Hey I got screwed over in this situation.” Like the whole, “All men are assholes” or “All women are bitches…” Just because someone has bad taste in partner or had a bad go of it.

    Some people just need to learn how to vent outside of the internet until they are fully ready to share their thoughts in a way that will be better read. Kind of shocked too since it’s a legit mag. Oh well…

    Anywho, my two cents. Thanks for listening.


    • Hey Kilma! Thanks so much for your thoughts! Sorry to hear you had a few frogs at your side for a while. Some ppl are just shallow douche bags, but sometimes they also grow up and see the error of their ways. I think Thump is pretty clever because it’s an angle that’s not much written about so it got a big conversation started = more hits and advertising for their website! But yeah, the person who wrote it definitely could have done a MUCH better job. Maybe they too need to grow up. Thanks so much for your comment and keep up the good music 🙂

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